Since I was twelve years old I had always dreamed of taking my home bred mare with me to Germany to get her to young Riders. In September 2007 that dream became reality, little did I know that this dream would end in disaster.

My story begins on April 28th 2002 when Focus was born. I looked at her, a mere 12 hours old and said I would do anything to have that horse. Later, Focus was given to me as a reward for a year of successful competitive swimming. The first three years of her life went by so slowly. I could not wait for the day when I could finally ride her. Well that day came. On her third birthday, I rode her for the first time. It was the first horse that I broke. Before I knew it I was graduating from high school and Focus was turning five. I decided that instead of going to directly into university I would try and fulfill my lifelong dream of training in Germany.

After a summer of planning, and a trip to Germany for an interview, I was accepted for the position and would move in September 2007. Getting myself and the horse to Germany was relatively stress free. In the first months I was able to find an apartment for myself and settled the horse in. My first winter away from home was not easy, but was also not completely unbearable. Then along came summer and things really blossomed. Focus started going to shows and was winning with scores of 8.0 in Dressurpferde L (Young horse class for horses 5 and 6 years old) and placing second with 7.5 in Dressurpferde M (Young horse class for 6 and 7 year olds). Every show she entered ended in success. Half way through the summer I received the offer to stay another 9 months longer. After a week of considering all my options with school, money and the horse, I agreed. School could wait another year, the money would work itself out and it was the best thing for the horse as she would then be secure at the Young rider Level, not only schooling the level. As the second winter went by Focus got stronger and stronger. Her last month before quarantine I was able to practise the Prix St Georges and Young Rider tests. In the last month we had planned on showing her Prix St Georges for the first time, at only seven years old, before she went home. But with the sudden onset of a 40 degree fever we had to scratch the show.

Disaster started with this 40 degree fever. It was a Monday morning when I went into the barn and saw focus wasn’t eating. This is not normal for her. I took her out of the stall and put her in the crossties. As I took her blanket off, her hair stood on end and she started shaking. I took her temperature and she had a fever. I walked her around the indoor a while and called a vet. They gave her some medicine to bring the fever down and boost her immune system. Later that night, I came again and took her temperature and her fever had climbed even higher, Another Emergency call to the vet and she received stronger medicine to help the fever so that she could at least get through the night. The next morning her fever was down, but suddenly from one minute to the next her fever spiked up to 39.4 and she was shaking again. Once again I called the vet and she received another medication. From this point on things improved. She got through Wednesday with no Fever and Thursday, absolute last minute, we took Focus to Frankfurt and she went into three weeks quarantine. The trip was fine. Her fever stayed down, but for me not being able to see her for three weeks, especially after the stress of the previous days, was not easy.

Two weeks had gone by; every time I phoned to check up on her everything was ok. I asked if it would be ok if I visited her one day. I was told it was ok. So in what was supposed to be my last week in Germany, I made plans to travel three hours again to Frankfurt to see Focus on a Monday. As I arrived in the stable, I had never been more excited to see my horse. It was the longest I had not seen her since she was born. I looked at her in the stall and she had the same ‘happy go lucky’ look in her eye, she even nickered to me as I called her name. There is no better feeling than that of being reunited with your best friend. So after saying hello and giving her some treats I went to look for the rider and ask if I could see focus being ridden. I found her and she went and got Focus from her stall. As she pulled her out I noticed Focus was unusually stiff. I thought it could possibly be that they worked her a little harder the last days. As the girl tacked her up she seemed ok. Then she led her to the indoor and I noticed that Focus was walking strange. As the rider started to trot I could see immediately that Focus was not ok. She looked lame, but not a normal lame. It looked like she was lame through her whole body, not on one particular leg. Not knowing better, I simply said “put her in her stall and I will come back tomorrow and we can have a look again”.

That night I did not rest easy, not knowing what was wrong with her. After a sleepless night I drove again to Frankfurt. As I pulled Focus from the stall I saw that her condition had rapidly deteriorated. Not only was she stiff in her hind legs, she was dragging both hind legs on the floor and swaying left and right without co-ordination. Immediately I called the vet. I presented her, and he told me do not walk with her, leave her in the stall, it is too dangerous. This is when he informed me that it could be one of three things, a pinched nerve in which case we would need a chiropractor, a broken vertebrae or Equine Herpes virus. The treatment for all three things would be the same, but in the case it was Herpes she would need an immune system enhancer and a blood test. We drew blood and started the treatment.

After another two sleepless nights, I returned two days later. The good news was that she had not gotten worse the previous day when I was not there, but this day, Thursday, we saw that she was in heat. The vet said, this could be the next symptom, loss of bladder function; therefore, we did a little test and determined that she was in heat. We drove home, knowing that the next day I would be able to come would be Saturday because Friday I was at a show.

Friday started normally, until about 11 o’clock in the morning. Just as I was about to leave for the show I received a call from the vet saying that Focus was not in heat, she had lost bladder function and it was now overflowing. He told me that the risk of infection was too high and that he no longer wanted to assume responsibility as whatever this was he couldn’t keep it under control, and that Focus should go directly into the university clinic. I told him that I need minimum 4 hours to get there; he replied “No, it needs to be now, we have her on the trailer we just need your permission to drive her”. In complete shock, I said yes.

In the clinic they directly inserted a catheter draining 12 litres of urine. Later that night they catheterized her again draining another 10 litres. The vets informed me that it looked like she had contracted the herpes virus and that when it progressed more I would have to consider euthanizing her.

On Saturday she regained some bladder function. By Sunday she was able to urinate alone again. That same day my father flew to see me and encourage me through this very difficult time. He looked at the horse and turned away, horrified at her condition. Although she had regained bladder function she was still not able to walk and did not trust herself to lie down or roll. On Tuesday, after Focus was sick for one week my father flew back home. The idea of losing Focus was too much; I did not know what to do. After a week in the clinic Focus was a little better but still not well. Finally after ten days, Focus regained co-ordination in her hind legs, although through turns she lost her balance a little. However she was still stiff and dragging both feet on the ground. After 12 days in the clinic, I was able to take her out of the clinic and put her back in quarantine. Now that she was set back in the quarantine facility, I was able to fly home. I did not want to leave Focus alone in Germany, but my position was filled and I could not afford to stay any longer. I needed to get home.

Now I am back in Canada after two years in Germany. As far as Focus all I can do is hope. It is still unclear if she will be able to be ridden again. In these two years I sacrificed many things; my university education, my life savings and myself. I had reached my goal. Focus had reached the Young rider level. The goal was this year to complete at the Canadian Young rider Championships, next year The North American Championships and if all went as planned the Young rider World Cup in Germany. Now in the blink of an eye, it was all taken away from me. In the course of three weeks I went from being on cloud 9 with the world in front of me, to not knowing if I will ever be able to ride Focus again and in a deep depression.

To this day we do not know where or how Focus caught the virus. What we do know is that the strain that Focus caught is one that cannot be vaccinated against and is also not contagious. Just like in people, many horses have the virus inside of them, but through, stress, illness and other circumstances combined the virus became active, and in Focus’ rare case it mutated and became the extreme neurological form. In order to diagnose the illness we had to do three blood tests to monitor when the herpes level spiked and decreased. One blood test in not sufficient because many horses have the virus in them, therefore they have an elevated herpes level. Through this blood testing we also determined that Focus has shed the virus and is nor a threat to other horses; however, the form she had cannot be given to other horses. This form happens only in the rare case the virus mutates.

I am now looking forward to getting Focus home where I can nurture her and give her the best chances of recovery. I am hoping that somehow good will come out of this horrific situation.